Accompanying audio while I wrote and maybe, if you care to, after you read or listen: “Live More & Love More” by Cat Burns
Some context: This post is an excerpt from my journaling on April 27 2024 with a few tweaks.
I have been taking IG in small doses for some weeks now...
Limiting my time on instagram is an interesting approach as I am getting an organization started....
Anyway.. It had been a few days since I’d looked through the app, I decided I was in a good enough emotional space to go on for a few minutes, and I wanted to see what some friends have been sharing - I know some brilliant, beautiful souls who share stuff I find informative in one post and have me laughing to tears in the next...
(without further ado from the end of my Apr 27 journal entry)
So I set a 5 minute timer first knowing
it would be at least 7
And it had been longer... but I’d been checking in with myself and was doing fine - I could handle a couple more minutes
Then I got to [friend’s] stories...and watched1 as they, a state-backed and state-sanctioned gang, tried to capture students who were praying...as a protective circle surrounded them shouting “let them pray”...here I go again...the tears are coming as I write...they came so fast before too..surprisingly so...hot and jumping from my eyes and surprisingly cool on my cheeks, the tip of my nose, where one hangs now.
Let them pray Let them pray
A side of the circle begins to jostle, clearly being pushed from the outside.
The pray-ers continue, bowing low, head to the earth...head to the Earth
The prayers continue
Let them pray Let them pray
Can you imagine?
I cannot imagine...being so scared of prayer that I send for armed support.
Guns for pray-ers? Guns for prayers
For what feels like the millionth time recently my heart is broken open
What. are. we. doing?
What are WE doing?
Another tear rolling. I’m not even trying to catch them anymore
Who are we being?
Human?
Human beings
Thinking about posting this. Sharing the words. Maybe someone else finds them and runs further with them....spreading the word because their heart is broken too.
I don’t know if I can post this now though I want to ...how would I record the audio between my sobs and tears?
…
“...It all comes down to who we were and what we stood for...” - Cat Burns
This video was disturbing for me, please prioritize your health and wellbeing when deciding if to watch it