Abundance and Care: “Sure, I’d love to share where I got that”
[Note: Today’s post gives a glimpse into my writing process at the end]
December 10 2023 (post)
6:02 am CT - LOCATION - guest room
Just wrote this message to a dear friend in response to something he wrote:
“The thing about citing sources is it also allows for community learning... It's a shared learning process... I may write about this... Feels like a system of abundance and care”
I want to write more about how citing sources has been fed to me like a process to make sure I'm not accused of stealing... It's about ownership and staking claim ... How I was taught...
And that's part of the reason citing myself never made sense to me - I don't care if someone takes my words like that or tries to pass my ideas as their own...I have countless of them...🤷🏿♀️ And you won't be able to do it like I do so... There's that as well
But when I think of citing as a way to engage in a shared learning process...
This all started with a dear friend who is also a cis-het white-bodied man, wishing me a peaceful rest using a phrase that he slightly altered from a commonly used Arabic phrase. He cited his source. I was unfamiliar. In his citation I found a pathway to new learning.
Now I know this friend well enough to know that the gratitude I offered for his citation he will reflect back to me when he wakes up... Some version of, “well you helped me to consider the importance of citing sources...” And he'd be right, I did. And in him choosing to take my offering as a learning opportunity and a gift - not deflect, ignore, excuse himself, refuse to engage - rather examine and then integrate, I too received a gift: my understanding of “cite your sources” has deepened and taken root further in my foundational beliefs.
In case you're wondering, this root of citation has connected with other root structures and is strengthening my internal system of abundance and care... It's a way to pass and share learning that doesn't need to be filtered through algorithms or ... And as I think about it I realize I've been witnessing it and relied on it for some time in my life. Especially among deeply-melanated Black femmes and women there is a practice of “citing sources”
“I love those shoes!” “Oh you know, I got these at __”
“You're wearing those bantu knots!” “You know the shop on W 135th? Near the Ethiopian restaurant?” (seriously tho check out Jane’s stuff)
Maybe it's just in our lineage to care for each other in this way, it's how I find medical providers, how I've been connected to work, how I've learned the newest line dances (yall Tamia’s did me in). The spirit of: if it's been helpful for me and you're interested, I'll put you on.
And I was fed, conditioned, “cite your sources” through fear: You'll be accused of plagiarism and be kicked out/ sued/ disgraced....
All the while citing sources is a tool for community learning and thriving...a system of care and abundance.
Possible titles:
citing sources isn't just about stealing OR
I found it! A system of abundance and care... Buried underneath “that's mine!” OR
Root systems
..........
May add at the end, a little peek into my process. This started as a daily journal entry that became a post. This is actually how all my posts on substack this far have started. It starts with me reflecting to myself about something that has sparked a feeling, sometimes excitement, sometimes sadness or despair... Any feeling I want to be with more deeply. Then it slowly morphs into: maybe I'll post this and the voice and tone shift. I'm posting it as it happened with only the name of my dear friend and my location changed...
(Another system of care and abundance, sharing the recipe, letting yall in on the process: there's enough to go around, more where it came from, and what is mine is uniquely shaped by me. No need to hoard. I am happy to share.)